It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
