I wannas sexs uuuuu
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
