Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
