i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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