big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
