Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
