Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
