check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
