i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
