I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
