Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
