I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize