The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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