Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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