I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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