bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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