Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
