i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
