kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Pants are for mortals
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
