Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
