I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
