What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I AM VODKA MAN
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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