I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
