yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
