ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
