loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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