he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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