he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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