just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Two words: nipple clamps
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