she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
