Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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