Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
