Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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