Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
