Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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