Sry I called you an 8
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
