Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
