Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
