Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
