alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
