He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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