I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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