why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
