Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
