i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
