She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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