After last night, I could never be a politician.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
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