i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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