So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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