So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
