Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm passing your future prison.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
