is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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