He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
