i don't like sucking hair
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
